Grieving the loss of a Child and Healing from Trauma in a healthy way

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”  Matthew 5:4,

The loss of a child is one of the most excruciating painful losses anyone can go through. And if you were a caregiver of a young child or adult or have suffered PTSD from the trauma of the event, it can seem impossible to get through it, you are never the same and wonder if life can ever be good again.

Joran at her 20th birthday party

After the loss of my oldest daughter Joran, I knew I needed to be an example to my living Daughter and grieve in a healthy way and try to find joy in life again or she may not be able to find joy and happiness for herself. But how can we do that?

Joran’s 23rd Birthday

Because I was my daughter’s caregiver after her car accident and gave up my career to care for her when I lost her I also lost my job and purpose for living. I was with her every day for 24 hours a day 7 days a week so when I lost her I was suddenly alone and the house was empty. I lost my daughter, my best friend the one I looked forward to seeing every morning as she greeted me each day with a smile, she didn’t complain and she had a wonderful sense of humor. We had fun and laughter every day and made a game of her therapy in walking and pool therapy.  Even on the hard day’s, she was amazing and I told her she was my hero because of her strength and refusal to give up.  She also gave me lots of hugs and kisses which nothing can replace.

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What I have learned about grief in the three years after losing my daughter

 

July 9th will mark three years since my beautiful daughter Joran went to be with the Lord.

 

This month I was able to let go of most of her things that I had put away stored in a closet. Her bright colored high top Pastry shoes (which were her signature style) and Victoria Secret t-shirts; I donated to my church thrift store. I held back on donating Joran’s Hagan Road Elementary School staff t-shirts. It’s not easy to let go of a part of your child that made them unique.

This is what I have learned about Grief after losing a child.

  1. The grief and pain never goes away, because the love you have for your child does not go away, but you will get stronger to be able to deal with the pain.

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All Hallows Eve a Christian Holiday- what does it have to do with Halloween?

According to Reverend Alan Rudnick there are some people who think that Halloween is an evil day. But it started as a Christian day to prepare for all Saints Day (November 1) the term Halloween from its beginning had nothing to do with any pagan or evil beliefs. The Christian festival All Hallows Eve morphed into our current word Halloween.

Professor of philosophy at the Christian Biola University John Mark Reynolds helps us understand how Christians can reject the evil undertones of Halloween. Christians have the right to reject (the pagan) interpretation. (Same as the pagan holiday-Christmas) My Neighbors celebration of Halloween as a pagan festival does not require me to lose All Hallows Eve because of course, it is an actual historical memory of what Halloween is.

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Ann Norton Sculpture Gardens Festival of the Trees

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The festival of the Trees is the season’s much anticipated 10th annual event for adults and children, December 2-14 in Palm Beach Florida at the Ann Norton Sculpture Gardens, where more than 25 trees are professional decorated each year by local designers, artist, and florists.

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This was my first year at the event and decorating a tree, which was Needlepoint Design, sponsored by Mrs. J. Simpson Dean, decorated by me Katheryn De Wolfe of De Wolfe Interiors with the help of my daughter Lindsay Walker and her friend Sarah Cullison. With over 130 handmade needlepoint, cross-stitch, and antique spools decorating the tree.

This year’s event theme is Celebrating Design through the Decades, shows the changing styles of design through the decades, sponsored by Sentient Jet. From the Stone Age to the 50’s, 60’s and 80’s, it’s wonderful to see each designer’s Interpretation of what that time period was all about. Each designer tree is sponsored by local area businesses, and designers volunteer their time and talents to decorate the trees. Continue reading

Fall Decor Ideas; Falling in Love with Fall

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I love fall in south Florida, because the weather is getting cooler less humid, and of course I love decorating for fall. Neighbors come out of their houses more when it cools off and it’s nice to get out in the garden and do some gardening.

I also love to create holiday and seasonal decorations that can be reused year to year in a new way while not having a storage problem to store all my decorations. I know some people who rent storage units just for their holiday decorations even though they have large garages.

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6 Reasons to use Custom Built-ins over Pre-made Manufactured Furniture

Custom built-ins can offer many decorating solutions that prefab furniture cannot, and can add beautiful design features to your home.

 

  1. More storage space than ready-made;

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This home office is in a small home and a small room and the owners needed a lot of storage for samples for the business. We would not have been able to get the amount of storage needed if we went with ready-made furniture. There are file drawers under the window seat that doubles as seating for the room. When the work day is done it can be used as a den for watching TV.

 

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How to Choose the Best Exterior Paint Colors for Your Home or Business

One of the best ways to add enhancement, resale value, and curb appeal to the exterior of your home is by choosing the right paint colors.


As a licensed Interior Designer, the biggest mistake I see homeowners make when selecting paint colors for their home is that they don’t take into consideration the style of the house, type of roof and the roof color. The money can be well spent if you pick the right colors for your home, or a costly flop if you choose the wrong colors, bringing down your home’s property value as well as your neighbors’.

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12 Interesting Facts About Elsie de Wolfe, the woman Credited with Making Interior Design a Profession

 

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Photo: Elsie de Wolfe

After reading about Elsie de Wolfe life, I amazed the similarities not only in our last name but in our design philosophies. And so much of my own design style was unknowing influenced by Elsie, such as a love for French furniture and Louis XV antiques, leopard prints, trompe l’oeil, slipcovers and painted furniture. I should not have been surprised as Elsie has influenced so many designers since 1907 when she decided to change the dark and gloomy Victorian standards of interior design, opening up a new standard of design that is still in practice today.

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What could be the answer to accessibility problems facing the handicapped, senior and transgender population?

As the debate over transgender bathrooms rages on, what I see is that a bigger problem is being ignored and that maybe both issues affecting a much larger sector of the population could be helped at the same time.

As the mother of a daughter with a traumatic brain injury a disability that had confined her to a wheelchair, getting out and about became a challenge. I needed help with her in the bathroom and if I was with a female aid not so much problem we could use the woman’s bathroom and I was able to bring my helper in with us.

But because of the waiver that she was on the staffing agency said I was not allowed to bring the certified nursing assistants (CNA) with me out into the community to go to her doctor and therapy appointments, stores or restaurants. The only way to go out with her would be to have my husband or a male friend which made it difficult to use the woman’s or men’s restroom. Places like Target that had family/handicap bathrooms were few and far between.

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